Dear Andrew,

Yes, I know I told you I was a feminist. Yes, I do believe in equal rights and splitting the bill. What I have never seen before — and I have been on more than 35 first dates — is that once I put a 50 quid note in to pay my part, you only add 15 more to pay yours and say casually, “I’ll buy you a drink later!”, when there was no later planned because I would miss my last train home.

We ate the same thing. I had a coffee also. But a coffee cannot be accountable for a difference of 20 precious dollars.

I felt that hit. But you do not need that, Andrew. I remember you told me, a bit ashamed, that you work for a bank…I know you have a higher salary than mine. A 3-figures salary maybe. You didn’t need to get away with my money.

I remember you said, “I’ll invite you for a coffee” when I hopped onto my train home. This invitation never happened…

It was a single date with no return ticket and no refund.

I, like The Beatles, don’t care much for money, but I do like to choose where I spend my money. And certainly not to pay for half of someone’s dinner when I do not choose to voluntarily do so.

This is not for the money, this is for the manners.

Truly resented,



I never knew who I was and yet, I never noticed until now.

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